By: Sharon Smith Leaman, published April 27, 2024
Anyone paying attention knows that there is a national assault on our girls. The most recent example is the amending of Title IX, a law that was originally written to protect young women and recognize their differences from men. This law has been surreptitiously double-crossed by those who suggest that men can be women and therefore men should be protected as women and at the expense of the women it was originally meant to protect. To add insult to injury, the feminine phenom of the day, Taylor Swift, who, like the Pied Piper, has sung her way into the hearts of our girls, released a new album that openly mocks the women who hold the line for our daughters in this crazy, disordered world.
I am grateful for the cultural warriors with large audiences who expose this attack on our girls and address it at the highest levels in our country. But many of us don’t have that kind of platform. For most of us, our circle of influence is small as we endeavor to live quiet lives and love our families, church community and neighbors. We think, “What can we do that really makes a difference in this twisted, disordered world?” The answer is one that has resounded throughout the generations: “Older women…teach what is good” (Tit. 2:3).
Direction for the Disorder
Unfortunately, what we see today is a generation of younger women who are increasingly vulnerable to the disorder promoted by those that hate God. Many girls lack the foundation of truth which prevents them from standing as “corner pillars cut for the structure of a palace” (Ps. 144:12). Will they be able to withstand the elements that are shaking the foundations of our society? Do they believe what the Bible says about their identity and value as women? Do they choose God’s truth over the worldly distractions thrown at them every day? Are they taken by the influence of the “Swifties” or by the influence of godly moms, grandmas, aunts and sisters? Importantly, do they see older women standing firm and engaging them in truth and in love and kindness?
Some days it can seem like disorder is winning the day. Of course, this generation’s disorder is not a new story, but an old one from the beginning when the Author of Lies spewed the first critical theory of history: “Did God really say?” (Gen. 3:1). The majestic order that God created out of the disordered void was corrupted by one who had a history of hating God. It is not a new story. And, it was not a new story when the Apostle Paul wrote to his disciple Titus, whom he left behind on the island of Crete to bring order to the church established there. Paul wrote his letter to instruct Titus to “put what remained into order” so that the new Christians would live lives that flowed from a “knowledge of the truth, which accords with godliness, in hope of eternal life” (Tit.1:2).
Paul knew that order would come not only from establishing masculine authority in the church but also partnering with older women who would teach younger women what is good and in accordance with sound doctrine:
Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God. Titus 2:3-5
The biblical remedy for the disorder of the day, especially in the lives, minds and hearts of our young women is for older women to “urge” them to live lives of love, kindness and order. This command to “urge” them is not a “doubling down” on legalistic living; but to reason with them and encourage them to taste the sweetness of the gospel and the freedom and order it brings to life.
It Starts with Us
In his direction to Titus, the Apostle Paul spoke to specific spheres in a woman’s life in which she needs an older woman’s influence. He zeroed in on her relationships –her marriage and her mothering; her private life –her purity and self-control; her character –her kindness and contentment. Paul knew that one way the “word of God [would] not be reviled” was for older women to examine the reverence of their own lives so they would be able to model a godly life to younger generations (Tit. 2:5). This is the pattern of discipleship God has established for women.
Older women are to lead according to the wisdom and truths of the Bible, not the wisdom of this world. They have a clear responsibility to train young women to love God with whole hearts and love others according to an objective truth, not what seems right to emotions or sense of compassion or any other idol of the day that distracts from this primary duty. If our hearts are divided, these idols show up in succeeding generations (Ex. 20:5). If older women are not careful to watch ourselves and root out our own idols, we sabotage our girls and make them susceptible to those who “creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions” (2 Tim. 3:6).
As easy as it is to blame the world’s influence over our girls and bemoan “What is the world is coming to?” or sadly, aim criticism at the girls themselves, our God speaks clearly: “Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers” (1 Tim. 4:16). God commands us first to examine ourselves, repent and renew our sense of covenant responsibility for our girls by reviving our own commitment to loving God with our whole heart, mind, soul and strength and loving our neighbor as ourselves. Then, like the Apostle Paul, the great mentor of the church, we can endeavor to say, “Follow me as I follow Christ” (1 Cor. 11:1).
Not a Program
Titus 2 is not a church program. Instead, obeying the command of Titus 2:3-5 reflects the heart of a woman who desires to grow in faith in Jesus Christ and trusts that He has given her everything she needs for life and godliness (2 Pet. 1:3). Her obedience to the commands of Titus 2:3-5 is a fruit of the love and trust she has in her Savior and in His care for her. From the overflow of His goodness towards her and her reliance on Him, she shares her life with younger women. To be sure, what she is sharing is His life in her. God is the source of her life, and, like the woman at the well in John 4, He creates in her an eternal spring to give sips of cool water to this parched and disordered world.
Those sips can look like friendly conversation with an insecure teen at church, a smile at a young mom who is wrestling a noisy toddler, a listening ear and a word of biblical encouragement to a young wife in a difficult marriage. It can look like humbly participating in Sunday School, learning apologetics and memorizing scripture so that we can engage young women to think and act biblically. A sip can look like investing in a girl-only ministry within the church. And, it can look like a committed, intentional friendship to see Christ formed in another (Gal. 4:19). But most significantly, it looks like a mom, dying to self and investing in her own relationship with her teen. For a thirsty person, a sip of cold water is welcome in any size cup.
A Titus 2 woman is one who does all these things in full view of her need of Christ and the order He brings to it. Being an “older woman” is not for the faint of heart. The older we get the more we realize the more flawed we are and the more we need every ounce of grace that God graciously gives –which is probably why God gives this command to us at this time in our lives. But our young women are worth the investment. And they need us now more than ever.
Sharon Smith Leaman is a member of New Life in Christ Church, Fredericksburg, Virginia. She would love to hear from you if this article sparked an interest in you. You may reach her at leamans@yahoo.com.
Now A Mirror Dimly 